QUASI-URGENT CRAP

I'm not rendering right now, but there's some info that I had to get off of my chest before it was too late:

1. Here's a new word for you to enjoy: Honkey-Bomb. I think I created it today...but maybe I didn't, I don't know. I haven't googled it yet.

2. Sodium erythorbate is NOT earthworm. It is an urban legend, unlike the mysterious Melon Heads aka Wobbleheads of West Michigan. Google it, and prepare to change your pants after they fill with fear.

3. Roy Rogers wasn't really a cowboy. He was a shoemaker from Ohio named Leonard. He was a pretty amazing yodeler though.

Now you know, and knowing is....bla bla bla..... Yo Joe!

WHEATIES - IT'S THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

BEFORE THIS LESSON BEGINS, I WOULD HIGHLY SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING MUSICAL TREAT: "CUT THE MULLET" BY WESLEY WILLIS. IT WILL GIVE HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT. AND NOW.....SOME ICELANDIC.......

LESSON 2:

kviðmágur (K'VID MCGRRRRRR)....I THINK.

DIRECT TRANSLATION:

TUMMY-IN-LAW, STOMACH-IN-LAW

WHEN YOU AND YOUR FRIEND HAVE SHARED A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER THE SAME PERSON YOU TWO BECOME BELLY-IN-LAWS.

ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK OUT CHICAGO.

LANGUAGE TIME: LESSON 1

THANKS TO CHRISTMAS, I CAN NOW TEACH EVERYONE SOME VITAL/WEIRD AND SPECIFIC ICELANDIC WORDS.  THIS WILL BE AN ONGOING SERIES BASED FROM THE BOOK "INCREDIBLE WEIRD AND SPECIFIC ICELANDIC WORDS" BY HLYNUR MAGNUSSON (WITH WHOM WE SPENT CHRISTMAS WITH).

LESSON 1:

Flórgoði (flur' go thee) or something like that

DIRECT TRANSLATION:

SHIT LORD, DUNG LORD, LORD OF THE SHIT

IN DESPERATE TIMES SOME FARMERS PUT A STOOL ON THE DUNG STAINED FLOOR OF A COWSHED, RIGHT BEHIND THE COW.  THEN STANDING ON IT HE LIFTS THE TAIL TO REACH THE BACKSIDE OF THE COW FOR MAXIMUM SEXUAL STIMULATION.

Flórgoði IS ALSO TYPE OF BIRD.

CALLING ALL EARS

I AM CONSIDERING DOING A WEEKLY PODCAST TO CORRESPOND WITH THIS BLOG.  IT WILL BE CALLED ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:

• EVERYTHING IMPORTANT THAT I CAN COME UP WITH

• SOME JUNK ABOUT UNICORNS AND MAYBE SOMETHING ABOUT GOATS AS WELL

• PIE IS THE BEST

• STOP HITTING ME WITH CARS

• A FULL HOUR OF LISTS

OR

• I HELPED BRING DOWN THE WORLD ECONOMY - THE BORED EXPLOITS OF AN OUTTA WORK EX-GRAD STUDENT.

VOTE TODAY AND THE WINNER WILL GET TALKED ABOUT UNTIL I AM OLD AND DEAD.

BUTT-O-METER

LAVA ROCKS MAKE ICELANDERS STRENGTH DOUBLE. IT'S LIKE SPINACH TO A WEREWOLF.

I HAVE DECIDED THIS DAY, THANKSGIVING 2008, THAT IF KILLED BY AN ANIMAL, IT SHOULD BE AN EAGLE.

ALSO, SHARKS PEE INSIDE THEIR BODIES.

HAPPINESS IS A HORSE NAMED JIMMY

HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT OBAMA SHOULD INCLUDE IN THIS CHANGE THING HE'S BRINGING:

1. THE METRIC SYSTEM
2. MAYBE SOME SNOW IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ON CHRISTMAS DAY
3. HE SHOULD FINISH MY THESIS FOR ME
4. A SECRET NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK
5. A BRAND NEW SUPER CONTINENT THAT NO ONE KNEW ABOUT UNTIL NOW. IT CAN BE CALLED OBAMANIA, SINCE HE'S THE ONE THAT PULLS THE SHEET OFF OF THE CONTINENT DURING THE BIG UNVEILING. IT'S OKAY TOO IF THE SUPER CONTINENT IS JUST JERASSIC PARK ISLAND GIVEN AN EXTREME MAKEOVER, AS LONG AS HE HAS THE T-REX'S ON OUR SIDE. PLUS, DURING THE UNVEILING: "THE FINAL COUNTOWN" BY EUROPE WILL PLAY FIRST.

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

I HAVE A NEW FEAR - IT IS THE COMBINATION OF LIVING IN AN APARTMENT IN JAPAN AND VOLCANOS.  ALSO, IT IS TRUE THAT CATS LIKE TO EAT CHRISTMAS RIBBON.